Mister Monday's Wii
by DarkPaladin000
Summary: A sort of sequel to Grim Tuesday's Navigator.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own the Keys to the Kingdom.

As we all know, Mister Monday was the laziest denizen of all time. So lazy that even Lord Sunday sent him constant reminders that he should be a bit more active when he wasn't busy drooling over the pictures of Saturday he kept in his bedroom. (I mean Lord Sunday was the one drooling, not Mister Monday.)

Spurred on by his superiors, Monday decided that he should change his ways. He read an advertisement about a new machine they had made in the Secondary Realms: the Nintendo Wii. Apparently it promoted active gameplay, and from whatever Mister Monday had seen, it didn't take too much effort to use it.

So, he ended up making a Wii (magically powered, by the way) for once using his own Key.

Now, do you know how it says on your Wii remote that you should attach it for your own safety? And do you know how you always ignore it?

Well, so did Mister Monday, with some dire consequences. The first time he tried playing, he swung his Wii remote so hard that he fell out of his bath-tub chair (or whatever it's called.)

The second time, the remote flew out of his hand and hit Dawn. Dawn was sitting quite close to Noon and Dusk at that time, and let's just say that the remote touched her in a private place. (I have to keep this rated K+, you know.) She didn't see the remote, so she kept glaring at Noon and Dusk for the next five minutes as if asking, _Which one of you perverts did it?_

After that, Mister Monday decided to actually strap his remote to his wrist like he was supposed to. He then decided to try Wii Fitness. After a few minutes of backbreaking effort (backbreaking effort from his point of view, mind you) he managed to get a Wii Fitness age of sixty.

Wow, he thought. I'm several thousand years old, but I made sixty. That must mean I'm good.

He then decided to look up his horoscope using the Wii Internet.

"Let's see," he muttered to himself. "It says 'One of your minions will go and betray you for your own good.' No idea what that's supposed to mean. Oh well, I guess it must be wrong."

He then decided to use the Wii to send messages to the rest of the House. However, unknown to him, the Wii interfered with the transmission of normal magical signals, so the messages sometimes got mixed up.

Take for example, the time when he was writing his diary. The entry went like this:

I am so bored. I know my own denizens are working hard, and they're like my own children, but I just can't help it. What I want to do is crawl into my bed and stay there for a good few millennia, but I just know my superiors won't allow me. What a drag.

A message Sir Thursday sent to Lady Friday went like this:

Look, the thing is that I need some gold right now. I just can't help it. And, since the army has been helping you out so much, defending the House and such, I think you do owe me that much. I'll come over to your Scriptorium later on this night.

The mixed up message that Lady Friday received was this:

Look, the thing is that I need some children right now. I just can't help it. And, since the army has been helping you out so much, defending the House and such, I think you do owe me that much. I'll crawl into my bed later this night. What a drag.

Lady Friday had no idea how to interpret the message, and stared at Sir Thursday weirdly ever since.

After that though, Mister Monday decided to do something different. You know, play some different games.

He started off with Super Mario Galaxy. Unfortunately, the whole thing somehow combined with his Key and the Seven Dials and for several minutes Sneezer who was cleaning the Seven Dials at that time was horrified to find that he being attacked by a huge turtle, sent to the depths of a star, and then landed on a spaceship.

Mister Monday thought that the whole thing was working brilliantly though. But the thing was that he was kind of getting sleepy. So, after consuming three hundred metric tons of sugar (which he had purchased from Grim Tuesday and somehow convinced him to accept Wii Shop Points as payment) he finally had enough energy to play for another five minutes.

And then he discovered the Internet Channel. And from then on, for hours on end, he just sat there transfixed in front of the computer, moving from site to site, not doing any work at all.

That wasn't too different from what he usually did, so no one got suspicious for a good three thousand years.

But one find day though, Lord Sunday found that his diary (which was completely covered in pink paper and decorated with flowers) had somehow wounded up in the Lower House. And the contents of that dairy are something that we'll explore later.

So anyway, Lord Sunday threw a huge tantrum and blew up Monday's TV, and then Monday finally seemed to snap out of his trance.

And that's how Mister Monday lost his Wii. And do you know what the first thing he did when it was broken?

He said, "Enough work for a few millennia. Time to take a nap."


End file.
